Anger

I am so angry at myself.  I live in a roach infested hell hole.  The others do not have the same fate.  My roaches were brought over from living with a Chinese scumbag renter for a year whose home was infested and the little of nothing that I transferred over with me, brought along the unexpected guests.  He has since made scumbag friends with other criminal boarders and has come across a fresh breath of air in a clean decent lady friend and is living "happily ever after".  I moved out though the rent was cheap because I was being harassed by the other tenant and her jailbird beau.  The renter's new lady friend saw this and called it out.  I received far more indignities than I would ever know.  Thanks to her for bringing the truth out so that I could see and understand that it wasn't just me that saw it...she did as well and saw more.  So I moved to a place with twice as much rent, twice as much trouble.  The new landlord moved half of my things in and after I paid him left the other half.  He treated me like garbage the whole time that I was there as well until he acquired a couple more houses and saw that the other tenants were not having it...he all of a sudden became more professional...I appreciated it, but the damage was done.  I was late  on my rent...I had an opportunity to leave but different things ironically happened preventing me from doing so...phone out of the blue broke in time sensitive situation, phone store reps giving me an endless run around, people slow to respond, then of course the doubt that I would be doing the wrong thing if I had the money to pay but left.  My only solace is that I did the "right thing", but I am still trapped in this hell hole and I can't seem to get out.