I really feel like throwing up...
from the bottom and the top.
I have a headache.
I know what I am going to wear.
I guess I should simply shower and get dressed.
However, I will not...not for a while.
Tuesday, July 18, 2017
...
Pain
My heart beats fast.
My head throbs.
There is a lump in my throat.
I have diarrhea.
I feel sick to my stomach.
Morning...
Good morning.
8:23 am feels like the calm and destruction after the storm.
Yesterday was so tumultuous, woke up in the morning after a pass out brief sleep to be tossed by life storms again.
Finally, out of exhaustion, I fell asleep.
Yesterday was so rough for me because I hated my living conditions and I felt trapped.
I felt like I had an out and I did not take it.
I had a dream last night by the way.
It was about being on a beach.
It looked familiar. It was a busy beach. I am not sure where. It did not necessarily feel like Florida, but it could have been. I had friends in the dream.
I also had family.
At some points, I was nude on the beach and I was ok with that.
There was some kind of conference.
How do I feel today?
I don't know.
I am tired. I've been feeling odd for the past couple of days. I just assumed my cycle was coming on.
It's not here yet.
I am tired.
I slept so deeply that I woke up with my heart aching and crust in my eyes. My whole body feels heavy with sad sleep.
Yesterday, I did manage to wash a load of clothes, which is a step in the right direction.
I wish wash another load today and clean after work.
I will need to purchase another session of laundry detergent. It looks like the container to the old bottle that I had broke and all the contents have leaked out and dried.
I am hoping that I will be ok today. Nontheless, I need to get my day started.
Good morning.
The Escape
Dark rooms used to be
a comfort and solace to her
now, you never know
what vermin lies in wait
to nibble on her soft flesh
he kissed her once
with his mind
and she enjoyed it
Camillus House
I remember hat place
Like an open air market for
the Homeless
Train stations
I have never lived in as much squalor
as I live in now
Wait that is not true...
remember the trailer in Hallandale
with the rats?
Remember...
Misery...
4:18 am itchy eyes, stuffy nose, if ac on too cold, if not too hot, can't sleep, awake, horror.
3:50 am...
The ac finally seems to be more secure than it was. I feel bloated. I think it's cycle time. Just want to get it over with. I did wash my first load of clothes in 9 months today, it was just linen. I really could use a person to chat with, but everyone is either white or a perv. :( I woke up an hour or so ago I guess to use he restroom. Yesterday really seemed like a nightmare to me. I hope it gets better. I wish I could escape, but there is nowhere that I know of to go.
Monday, July 17, 2017
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